I realize that Lenten practices are not the most popular in southern Evangelic churches today, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Easter deserves as much attention and preparation as I put into Christmas and Thanksgiving, and what better way to prepare than to take time to prepare my heart. I read several blogs about Evangelic Christians observing lent. Here's a couple I particularly found useful:
http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/evangelicals-remember-lent-1187468.html
http://blog.beliefnet.com/markdroberts/pages/series/how-lent-can-make-a-difference-in-your-relationship-withe-god.html/
So, what to give up for lent? Get ready for the simplified version of my thought-process, because taking the time to spell out my entire rationale is not feasible.
I thought about it for a day or two, and was sort of in a tough spot. There aren't really any substances in my life that are creating a barrier for me to experience God. There's no physical objects or foods/drinks that I need to eliminate. Sure, I could give up donuts or bread, or caffeine, or candy, and YES, I could definitely use some self-control in those areas, but how would that help me get closer to Him? I think, on the contrary, it would just make me cranky and leave me feeling lethargic.
So, I decided that the areas in my life that needed the most attention include my relationship with Him, my opinion of myself, and my relationships with others. I tried to think about what part of my daily walk with God was suffering. At what time in my day, or my schedule, do I start to feed selfish desires and leave God out of it? Honestly, it's when I get home from work.
Usually, when I get up in the mornings and hustle and bustle about, there's not enough time for selfishness. I get dressed, I come to work, I answer questions, network, write, develop, etc. and most of the time there's no thought about "me". However, when I get home at the end of a long day, I just feel so drained and frazzled. I started to realize that often times the reason I feel so bad about myself after a long day at the office is because I've not accomplished everything on my to-do list. I know this seems petty, because after all, how important is that to-do list anyway. But anyone who understands my over-achievement addiction will know that an undone to-do list is not okay. So, back to the point, why was I feeling so bad? It wasn't because the newsletter didn't get sent out, the logo wasn't designed or the document wasn't revised. Rather, I felt so bad because I had spent all evening making excuses as to why those things didn't get done.
"I couldn't call the school today because I need to get the newsletter mailed before I call them, and I havne't done the newsletter because I'm waiting on a better photo to put on the third page. I'll have to wait until it's warmer to take the photo, so maybe the trees will be prettier."
This petty excuse and others like it are starting to cloud my perception of reality. God can't speak to me if I refuse to accept the truth about my life. In all actuality, "I didn't call the school today because I didn't have a second to sit down," would have been more accurate. Or, maybe I could just admit, "I didn't call the school today. I need to do it tomorrow."
Are you following me? God needs me to cut-to-the-chase so He can show me the important things in our relationship. So, for lent, I gave up excuses.
I'm not going to make excuses for myself, for others or for situations. It is what it is, and I'm finally willing to admit it. Rather than making excuses, I'm going to focus on the reality of my relationship with God, with others, and with myself. I'm going to accept the truth, and if necessary, I'm going to work to change it. With that being said, how are you preparing for the Easter holiday?/
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