Season of Ish

It seems like the older I get, the more "trying"times I go through, so I can't help but wonder if this is the new normal. Maybe God didn't intend for my life to ever be easy. He never promised me that it would be simple... so why am I always caught off guard when I can't have things my way?

Another season of difficulty is upon our little family. I'm not complaining, and I'm not saying that things couldn't be worse, but I am trying to deal with the uncertainty and trials in a different way than my nature would have me. Of course I want to kick and scream when things get tough. Of course I want to sulk up and take long baths, and retreat to my room for hours. But that's not the kind of attitude that God wants me to have, and it definitely wouldn't be healthy for me or my family.

I'm not going to pretend that this whole "trials and tribulations" thing is new for me. I haven't had the easiest life, and I don't expect it to magically get easier over night. The thing that I'm struggling with now is how to find joy, even when my spirit is crushed. Here's a verse I found that helps me remember it's all going to be okay:

Luke 12:22-34
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (NIV)

Here's what I have to remember: my purpose in life is not to be a stellar public relations professional. It isn't to be pretty, or savvy, or even make lots of money. No, my purpose in life is to serve a living Savior and to bring glory to His name. When I look at life this way, it's easy to see that God's plan is better than mine. He surely knows how I should serve him better than any of my plans could suffice. I long to be content with His plan and trust in Him.

So here's my prayer for today:
God, I'm not really sure why all of these things are happening. I want to trust that your plan is greater than mine. Please help me trust you. Please help me hold my head up and understand that you are at work, even when it's difficult for me to see you. Help me be a witness to the people around me who know what I'm facing. Help me to have a Christ-like attitude and to glorify You about ALL ELSE. Help me to leave my pride, selfishness, bitterness and all the rest of the yucky stuff behind. Fill me up with your love and your word. God, just take the burden off of me, and off of Brad and just let us be your servants. I know you're taking care of my today and my tomorrow.