Wednesday, May 20, 2015

This post is not about Porter

I catch myself worrying that I'm not being fair. Many of my readers know about the struggles and challenges we face with Porter, and I'm pretty good about sharing the triumphs and celebrations that we enjoy when we have a win with him. What I don't do often enough is talk about the other kid in our house. Y'all, he's something else entirely.

Fischer Henry Thompson turned two in February. He could not be any different than his big brother. Fischer is strong willed and playful, independent and feisty. I have learned to love in a whole new way because of Fish. He is the balance to our crazy chaotic and messy world. He is, quite literally, our anchor.

Before you start thinking he's a calm, and calculated kind of guy, he's not. Most often, you'll find him running and screaming, giggling uncontrollably, copying EVERYTHING his big brother does, asking a million and one questions, and of course, falling down. But what he does so well, so uniquely, is hold everything together when the rest of us are being nutty. Porter could be crying about something obscure, Brad could be mad about something routine, and I could be stressed out and about to literally lose it, but Fischer. Fischer is most likely the one who is taking it all in, giving his brother a hug, making a silly face, making us laugh and keeping everyone in line. This kid is going places, people.

He has his own sense of style. Tons of people ask me if the glasses are real. They're not. He likes to wear flat-billed hats, cocked to the side. He likes to wear glasses of any kind, and he insists on wearing shoes... cool ones. He is well-dressed, and full of joy. I am over-the-moon about this little guy. Every time I look at him I can't help but be a little more amazed that God has entrusted me to raise these two perfect and precious gifts. I pray every day for the wisdom and strength to hold it all together for them.

Every worry and fear I have for Porter is followed by a "but Fischer...". God is so full of grace. He gave us a break with Fischer it seems. I know he's only two, still so small and new and there's still many years for him to cause us grief, but for now, he's just what our family needed.

He walked at 9 months. He started talking soon after. He has hundreds of words and is stringing sentences together. He makes jokes, and plays games, and keeps up with the big boys. He is so much of what I need on a daily basis! He keeps me smiling and kissing and hugging and running. Oh, I am so very thankful for Fischer Henry.

He wants to be just like Daddy. And I hope he is. I hope his heart is just as big, and his smile is just as contagious. I hope he sees the kindness in his Daddy's heart, and I hope he wants to be a helper and a caretaker, just like his Daddy. But I think all parents want more for their children than they have themselves. I want more for Fischer. I want him to see the whole world, experience it, change it. I want him to conquer and rise to the top and be the kind of leader that I already see in him. He is fierce. He is competitive and has a drive unlike any other. He won't quit. I love that about him.

He doesn't play t-ball yet, but he's ready. I see it in his eyes when we're sitting at the ball field watching his big brother play and his Daddy coach. He watches every move when the boys are on the field, and he is already running fast and catching balls. His swing is impressive. I can't wait to see him play the game and love the game. Oh, t-ball is a whole other blog post waiting to be written....

My sweet Fish is quick to forgive. His heart, just like his big brother's, is golden. He's cautious about new people, which is totally different than P. I can't say I blame him though, as cold and harsh as our world has become.

Fischer will start preschool this fall. For once, I can say that I'm excited for him. With Porter, I was nervous beyond words. I was worried and stressed and didn't want him to enter the big old world of private preschool. But Fischer... (see what I did there?) Fischer is ready. Fischer will dominate preschool, and the playground and honestly, any other situation he encounters. I can't wait to watch him excel! Swim fast, Fischerman. Swim fast!

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